What should I do?

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What should I do?

Without a doubt, “what should I do?” is the question that I get asked the most by people trying to make their way in life on their own. It hasn’t ever struck me as a question that one should ask another without further comment.

For a start, regardless of what you think of me, surely you do not believe that I can read minds. I struggle with my own plans and desires without guessing or assuming what another person’s would be, with any degree of accuracy.

We live in an age in this county where you can be what you want to be and achieve that which you desire, depending of course on your dedication and natural ability. This is why my typical response would be to throw the question back with a simple “what do you want?” It surely isn’t for me to access your motivations, principles and ambitions. We are all individuals, as much as we act with pack mentality in certain surroundings. We have our own views on what the world should look like and what our role should be in this self-constructed paradise.

Personally I have spent almost a two decades trying to piece together myself and I haven’t been able to conjure up an image of how these pieces of who I am should fit, or even would fit in this puzzle of a world that we live in, let alone in what I would call my ideal society. This has been my biggest weakness in my working life. Borne primarily from my lack of confidence in my ability, my lack of imagination and most prominently of my fear of failure. Every successful stride I see another take, and the passive jealousy that I feel because of it is a clip round my ear which shakes me out of the autopilot mode that I often allow myself to slip into. In broad stroke terms, there are two ways that you can be affected when you learn of someone else’s achievement. There is an overtly jealous, excuse making, cry-baby attitude and a reflective, analytical, inspired frame of mind. Both of which manifest in different frequencies, both of which can tell you more about yourself than the person that you are focusing on. Without any doubt I believe that the people who fall into the second category are the people who are ultimately resented by the people in the first category.

For me, having children focused the mind more than anything else. But surely it shouldn’t take a life long commitment and responsibility to find out what I want from my short time on this planet. Well apparently it did, and still does. But before anyone reads this, and rushes out to copulate with the next compatible human of the opposite sex in a bid to spawn an epiphany. I think that all you truly need is some time alone. It may seem unpopular in a day an age where information is flooding in at a thousand pages a second, and access to this information is less than a trouser pocket’s distance away from you. But a moment’s meditation and reflection can focus your mind, placate some of the more negative thoughts that you may be having and ultimately bring you closer to what your personal philosophies are. This is for me the first step to understanding what you want, and ultimately what you “should do”.

Find your philosophy, establish who you are and then identify your goals in life. Whether it is 10 or 20 years from now, it really doesn’t matter as long as your vision is clear. Only then can we devise a plan to help you achieve it, and you are welcome to ask me “what should I do?”

Not all crimes are equal

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There is a good reason why all crimes are not punished with the same length of sentence or even the same style of sentencing. It is argued that there are strong moral and societal reasons for some crimes to be pardoned on the first offence and for others to be prosecuted using the full weight of the criminal courts. However you would not expect this to be the case if you read the article written by Ruby Lott-Lavigna for The New Statesman who carelessly flounders between crime conflation and virtue signalling which is all to common with the modern, Left-Wing argument. Ruby’s article depicts a flowery event, that is harmlessly held in West London every year, in which people of every stripe come together in peace and tranquillity. You may be surprised to hear that she was describing Notting Hill Carnival.

There are many carnivals around the world but Notting Hill Carnival to me is something special. It celebrates our melting pot society and in particular the Caribbean, South American contribution. My maternal grandfather was born in Jamaica and during the Second World War he joined the RAF, made his way over to the U.K. and eventually settled in South London. Because of that mixed heritage and growing up in South London I have always had a great draw to “carnival”, however I have always been acutely aware of the dangers. All festivals and music gatherings have relatively high crime rates, and Notting Hill Carnival is no exception. In fact Notting Hill Carnival has less crimes per head than a lot of festivals, but here is where Ruby’s delusion of its safety and her assertion that the press and the Met are being racist towards it falls apart.

 

Allow me to start by saying that the Met’s pathetic attempt to link a large heroin seizure to the upcoming carnival was ridiculous and completely unhelpful, but you are going to have to do a lot more than that to convince me that the Metropolitan Police are racist towards black people and the Notting Hill Carnival. Ruby chooses to conflate how safe an event is with the number of arrests that are made, and I can only imagine this is to fulfil her ‘Lily Allen-esque’ narrative. I mean, really, would you feel safer in a group concealing ecstasy and cocaine or knives and acid? It’s not really a question I need answering as I know how I felt in Texas where carrying firearms openly is legal and Amsterdam where carrying a joint is legal, there is a large difference between posing a threat to others and posing a threat to oneself. Her Implying that the two crimes are the same – or even similar – is the same ridiculous tripe that was spouted by Vice in an article that talks about police bias towards Notting Hill carnival. “Carnival gets a disproportionate amount of attention for this issue compared to other big summer events which have similar – or, in many cases, higher – crime figures” well let me explain why.

 

This year at Notting Hill Carnival 31 police officers were attacked and injured, four people were stabbed, acid was thrown at a crowd and blood was spat at three police officers. This sounds to me a fair bit more concerning than the personal possession of illegal, recreational drugs. There are exceptions as at this year’s Reading festival a boy was found dead in his tent and another was stabbed during Kasabian’s live set, but these incidents pale in comparison to the figures that I have stated regarding Notting Hill Carnival, not least because one of them was almost certainly self-inflicted but because they are not the norm at these events. On the flip side there were 11, 12 and 41 offences involving weapons in the years 2013, 2014 and 2015 respectively at Notting Hill Carnival. There could be a case for this only being an issue of kids having weapons for show with no actual intention to use them if it wasn’t for the unfortunate rate of 85, 98 and 74 Violent crimes With Injury (VWI) being committed in the same corresponding years. So I have no clue what reality Ruby is referring to when she says “Beyond getting splattered with paint and dancing too enthusiastically to Bashment, there’s nothing to fear.” I can only assume she sees her clothes being stained by paint as more of an offence than if she was to be assaulted or stabbed.

 

Ruby’s euphoric recollections sound like many of my own; it was almost as though she was by my side during carnival enjoying the sights and sounds. However she must have popped off to the toilet and missed the bit when a fight kicked off about ten feet from me and a young man was stabbed.

White supremacy, the desperate search for the ghost in the machine – How Munroe Bergdorf was fired for being a bigot.

It really is a sign of our times when a black male, who has transitioned into becoming a black female, is chosen to front a major L’Oreal campaign, only to be fired for being a blatant racist. Of course as soon as there was word of a black transsexual losing their job, the social justice warriors ran to the rescue. Here is a sample of what this delightful human had to say that led to the firing.

 

“Honestly I don’t have energy to talk about the racial violence of white people any more. Yes ALL white people,”

 

“Your entire existence is drenched in racism. From micro-aggression to terrorism, you guys built the blueprint for this s***,”

 

“Once white people begin to admit that their race is the most violent and oppressive force of nature on Earth… then we can talk. …”

You would think that even the most weak-bellied liberal would see the clear racism in Bergdorf’s statements, but no! Her fully justified firing by L’Oreal was met with its own shouts of racism, sexism and claims of “transphobia” (as if L’Oreal were unaware she was a he before they hired her to fill their inclusion quota).

 

There was a re-occurring trend in Bergdorf’s ranting that slavery was an attempt at white supremacy. This is bizarre on so many levels but I may as well put it to bed in case there was any confusion.

Slavery (at least the transatlantic slave trade) had nothing to do with white supremacy. If it did then there would not have been Irish slaves. Regardless of the debate into how the races were treated differently (and there is evidence that the races of slaves meant that their masters did treat them differently, for good or for worse), there was no collusion between the whites of the world to create a white powerhouse, so it is disingenuous to assert that the slave trade was a bid for white supremacy. When the first Portuguese slave ship took sail in 1526 I am quite sure that King Henry VIII was a little more concerned with how best to get rid of Catherine or Aragon than he was to make friends with all Caucasians to create a supreme, white movement to take over the world. Not least because the King was about to establish a religious BREXIT from the Catholic Church, which would divide a large proportion of white people.

 

I have to assume that Bergdorf descends from slaves that were taken West from Africa rather than East, otherwise I would say that she is pointing her finger at the wrong direction, and definitely at the wrong colour of people. Around 12.5 million slaves were taken from Africa by Europeans between the 1500s and 1800s. This figure is dwarfed by the approximate, 22 million slaves that were taken from around India and Africa by the Arabs at around the same time. So are white people still the most oppressive race on earth? In fact the only reason why the Arab world is not populated by black people in the same way that America is comes from their tendency to amputate the genitalia of male slaves. I don’t know if it is worth mentioning that as bad as some white people were during this time, white Unionists were the people who started the emancipation of the slaves which wasn’t adopted in the Arab and inter-African slave trade world until many years later. Even in Cuba, the original revolution to free the slaves and the indigenous Cuba people from the Spanish was spear headed by Jose Marti, a relatively well off white man who’s Mother and Father were both Spanish.

 

Bergdorf’s sweeping and bigoted statement that “All white people are racist.” Was watered down and mutated into “when I’m talking about all white people, I’m talking about structural racism” in an article for metro.co.uk. She is referring to this ghost in our social machine called “institutional racism”, an indefinable, undetectable but supposedly ever-present state that our society is in, which suppresses non-white people. Of course there is no mention of a racist individual or legislation, no concrete modern example given. Instead she resorts invoking the evils of some white peoples’ ancestors, oh and of course lying.

A few of the lies were in her list of benefits that are skin-tone related in our society. She lists “housing, healthcare, employment or credit”. Unfortunately for Bergdorf not all of us listen and nod when a self-styled victim begins to virtue signal. So I will work my way through this ridiculous list starting with the simplest to debunk.

 

Healthcare: Now I don’t know what study she has read but the NHS has been free at the point of access for quite some time now and it doesn’t mater whether you are an East End, pie and mash devouring, white, skinhead or a black, Macawiis wearing, gentleman who has just landed from Djibouti, you will be taken care of and we will not charge you a penny.

Additionally 40% of the Doctors in the NHS are BME as apposed to 8% of the country, so I guess that is all that needs to be said there.

Housing: This was easiest for me as I am an estate agent by trade (if I can call it a trade). In the private sector it is absolutely illegal to deny someone the opportunity to make an offer on a property FULLSTOP (unless the owner has put it in writing that they wish to receive no more offers). So race doesn’t come into it in the slightest. I have never had a client ask me the race a potential tenant or purchaser, however for legal reasons (right to rent check) I have been asked if the tenants are British.

In the public sector all British people have the same rights, you could argue that an individual at the council or housing association is being racist to you, but that is far from institutional racism. Following Bergdorf’s logic I suppose that in a council like mine (Wandsworth) white people better be prepared from housing issues as the staff at the council are over 50% BME.

 

Credit: I have never met my bank manager, she has never met me. How on Earth would she know my ethnicity to be racist towards me? And even if she did, this would be a display of personal racism, not institutional racism. Maybe “credit” is a reference to mortgages, which seems strange to me as my granddad managed perfectly fine to get a mortgage in a time when this country on the whole was more racist and in 1975 my mother had no issues. Maybe Bergdorf needs to speak with my mortgage if she is having issues.

But that is for loans, how about your credit score? Well yet again, your race doesn’t come into it, and if there is any evidence for BME people receiving lower Credit scores because of their race, then I would love to see it, and I would join Bergdorf on a march to Parliament that same day. The only instance of racism regarding credit in recent memory, that I can think of, was in the USA, where ethnic minorities were gifted sub prime mortgages in a bid to give them a leg up on the social ladder (affirmative action)……… look how that panned out.

 

Employment: Now this is the most difficult one for me to debunk, because you could argue that lots and lots of business owners across the country are racist, and for that reason there is institutional racism. But there is a problem with this, and it’s pretty obvious. A group of racist business people do not make an institution. An institution is an organisation or an established law or practice. There is nothing in the law of this land that says you are allowed to discriminate by the colour of peoples’ skin. On the contrary, race is one of the “protected characteristics” in our law.

On a personal point to Bergdof; I run two companies at present and I know first hand that if you do not hire the best person for the job, for what ever reason, your company will suffer for it. So don’t worry to much, the real racists will get what is coming to them, one way or another.

 

Back to Bergdorf’s comments when being interviewed. After being pressed on her comment that “all white people are racist” she was asked whether Heather Heyer, the girl who was killed during the rioting in Charlottlesville, who was standing up to white supremacists and neo-Nazis was in fact a racist too (as she was white). Bergdorf responded “you can of course be an ally”! But stops short of saying that you will ever be non-racist. I wonder how warped a mind-set must be and how much hatred you must hold, in order to believe such a thing. I remember hearing the stories told of how white women – like my grandmother – would fight of racist (actual racist), white men with their high-heeled shoes, in a bid to defend black men like my Granddad, and I wonder, would those same women fit in the same category as Ms Heyer? An ally, yet not non-racist.

 

 

Putting aside the fact that blanketing a race of people is racist in and of itself (which can only increase racial tensions). It is completely unrealistic to expect a totally equal society. What we have to strive for is equality of opportunity, which I believe we have managed to – almost completely – succeed in. We are all individuals, with different backgrounds, economic backings, family structures and religions. Some of our cultures and philosophies will do better than others and some people will have a head start but as long as you have no barriers in front of you, I think that you should stop searching for hurdles through the window, and instead look into the mirror and reflect on what barriers you have put up for yourself.

 

 

I truly hope that if Bergdorf chooses to read this and to respond, I don’t get a response along the line of “well that just makes you part of the problem” or “that’s your white privilege talking”. I hope that I am done the honour of truth and I am shown a legislation or an individual that is racist, so that we can fight this apparent ever-present evil together and make the world a better place. But until then, I wont be chasing ghosts in our social machinery.

Once again, fascism has failed.

Once again, fascism has failed.

There seems to be trouble brewing, I don’t think that I can remember a time when there were so many marches in our streets. Probably what is more concerning to me – as someone who was adamant that he was a liberal – is that I can’t find myself agreeing with 90% of the people on the marches and I certainly couldn’t imagine myself hoisting up even 1% of the placards. I find myself angry with left wing commentators far more than I used to feel myself get mad with the right wing variety, I feel frustrated by moral inconsistencies more often than I find myself getting angry at my own self believed moral injustices.

So am I becoming a conservative? And if I am, why does it still feel like such a dirty word to me? Maybe because the workers’ party has always been Labour and the left, or maybe because liberal/left parties have always been loosely associated with equality and forward thinking notions, whilst conservatism has always been – at least in my uneducated eyes – associated with delaying that progression and a hierarchy based on birth right and family wealth.

Well now I see the flaws in both, however clearly the most dangerous at the moment is the pseudo left wing movement, a possible offspring of the nanny state mentality and an absolute manifestation of people’s inability to use critical thinking.

 

When the left goes full circle and joins hands with the right.

 

I was always under the impression that the left wing and right wing analogy was similar to looking at a ruler with one end (to my left) being the super liberal, tree hugging, pacifistic, hippy type and on the other end were the Hitlers, Stalins and Mussolinis of this world. However with every day that passes I can see that this ruler that I imagined is bending ever closer to a complete circle. We already know that the right wing bad guys of both today and yesteryears were proficient at silencing free speech and willing to physically punish people for views which did not align with their own. Well the fascism that was to be found only at the far right hand side of the ruler is trudging its way over to the left, shrouded in the disguise of good intentions.

I am far more likely to be shouted down in an attempt to silence my views by someone on the left than on the right at this present moment in time. And although it could just be that the right are better at hiding their desires given the torrid history that they have had, I chose rather to believe that they have learned to at least control themselves in public discourse.

As soon as the Brexit results came in I remember very clearly the shouts from the left, “Racists” “they lied to us” “this isn’t my country any more” “Nazis!” yes, even “Nazis” was being bounded around as though at some point over the past 70+ years this country has gone from fighting against and dying at the hands of Nazis to morphing into a country where at least 17.4 million of us now are indeed Nazis. These insults and defamatory comments are not only a key reason for why we voted to leave the European Union but also – I believe – without question why the result came as a shock. You couldn’t turn on your PC and surf the internet for more than five minutes without stumbling upon patronising and condescending message about how voting to leave meant that you had some form of mental disability or that you were probably an under cover racist (I could imagine this information came as a shock to many intelligent members of ethnic minority groups). Imagine my surprise to find out how many successful black and apparently racist or xenophobic people I knew AFTER the results were read and the dust had settled. My lack of awareness to this apartment racist epidemic can only be attributed to the fascist left, our friends on the far left hand side of the ruler that are emboldened and empowered by their fellow – possibly Corbynite, almost certainly malnourished – social justice warrior friends.

This is where the parallels with Trump’s victory culminate, although I ultimately believe that Brexit was a good thing and Trump’s victory was not, the devil is in the detail. The core votes in both instances came from the silent majority, people who have been suppressed by name-calling, victims of the nanny state principles of political correctness. The builder who wolf whistles in a jovial, carefree manor to a passing lady in heels, and the lady who feels empowered by her high heels and the attention it brings are both suppressed by political correctness and a hypersensitivity to what could be perceived as intimidation or an insult. So now the builder is a misogynistic pig and the lady is single-handedly undoing the decades of fantastic work that the true feminists of the past did with her benefit in mind.

 

A note to the true feminists: We won! Please don’t let this new wave of feminism patronise us into obscurity and silence the true voice of equality.

 

The problem with fascism is clear but maybe what isn’t so clear to many people is the danger of silencing people. Name-calling, personal insults and threats of violence only seem to do one thing, and that is to push people underground. It forces people to keep their opinions to themselves as with most good intentioned mild people they fear being labelled as something hideous. I do wonder if the Bexit campaign and vote was re-run, and if instead of lambasting EVERYONE who even dared to utter a whiff of the potential benefits of leaving, we instead engaged with their ideas and philosophies and tried to open their eyes to the facts, how many votes could have been swung? Maybe 2%? Maybe more? Well 2% is all it would have taken for us to have received a different outcome on the 23rd June 2016. We will never know truly know, but what I am glad to say is that once again, fascism has failed.

 

 

Letters to Myla

To my darling Myla,

Something told me that I should write you a letter, or potentially a few – if this one turns out any better than the average car crash – so that you know who or what I was. Morbidly I suppose thinking that if I was to die soon, you would never get a chance to form your own opinion from personal experiences.

I always shy away from believing without reservation the accounts that people hold of the deceased. They are either one sided – and as such incomplete – or they are censored to one degree or another, so as not to tarnish the memory of the subject.

I don’t want you to have the impression from your mother’s beautiful, hyperbolic nature that I was anywhere near perfect. Like every creature on this planet (and probably every other planet) I am a hostage to the limitations either physically or mentally set before me.

Although I can take a stand and reinvent myself on a daily basis, I have no say in my past or of my coming to be. My only ability to change my past is to imagine my future past memories and work towards them in the present.

Every moment that we have is both a chance to create a better future and an opportunity to one day reflect on a more satisfying past. That being said: the awareness of your inability to effect your past is the only time that I would like for you to limit yourself!

Something just sprung to my mind about our past and how we are looked back on. Although you cant go back in time and you cant change your past actions, it is however possible to alter peoples perceptions of those actions. History is littered with “good” men and women who have carried out inglorious and morally questionable acts only to have them sugar coated and spun out of context until they resemble something, somewhat positive. One of the most famous examples is the story of Noah’s ark and the character of Yahweh (the Jewish god).

If I was to say to you that the world is bad and all but eight people are evil and so we should wipe out all but those people and 99% of the animals by way of drowning. You are likely – I certainly hope – to call both the police and ambulance services, because clearly I would have lost my mind and I am a danger to others and myself (Even if it was a fact that all but eight humans were evil what about the animals!!!). But if you are given the assumption that Yahweh is an all good and all wise, rather than flawed, maniacal and susceptible to mistakes, then you will find a way of justifying the actions and manipulating what is so clearly a hideous story. You will hear cries that “man was warned for 120 years” or “man brought it upon himself” well I hope that you don’t find either of those reasons acceptable for Yahweh’s actions…. Yet hundreds of millions do.

Now can you see why I wanted to write you these letters rather than let you hear a glorified version of who I was?

“We live on an island surrounded by a sea of ignorance. As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance.”

– John Archibald Wheeler

The saying “time flies” is only part of the story – as most catchphrases are – time not only flies but it accelerates as it passes you by. There is little we can do about time and there is even less that we can do to curb it’s effects on us. Nothing that I am aware of including our Earth, The Sun and – I assume – even this universe will last for ever. The fact that I am even here typing this message to you is in itself incalculably unlikely, even with around 4 billion years of this intriguing planet being formed. We are extraordinarily fortunate to have some form of consciousness – limited as it may be by the restraints of our body – to observe this planet, this galaxy, this universe and to be able to interact with it in some manner.

It took me until I was in my early 20s to realise that there are billions of people on Earth and possibly millions of people who want the exact same thing that I want. And as selfish as it sounds, you have to TAKE your opportunities, because someone else will if you do not. All your life I am sure you have been told to be polite and courteous, and I hope that you are, but you must learn the difference between being polite and being subordinate on an even playing field.

“Killing with kindness” has helped me to get what I want whilst keeping my principles. Be empathetic but not to the point where everyone else’s plights consume you. There can and should be much satisfaction in helping other living things, after all without this innate sense of compassion it is severally unlikely that our specie would have survived anywhere near as long as we have (possibly around 200,000 years) on this planet. This is not to say that there isn’t a time when war and violence are unfortunate but necessary evils, but I think my thinking behind that is best saved for another time.

In your quest for happiness it is likely that your compassion and your ambitions will collide. You may feel as though your success is in someway a negative force on other people, even whilst your intentions are not intended to be. This is the “harsh reality of life” that people speak of. There will always be a predator and prey in almost every setting in life. It may not manifest itself in a scenario as extreme as one animal consuming another for nourishment, but if you find someone who has won, if you search hard enough you will find one or many people who have equally lost.

Your intentions are what matter and so you should only feel sorry for being happy if it is purposefully at the expense of someone else’s happiness.

Please allow me a whiff of self-degradation, I am honest and outspoken to the point of being obnoxious. I find it extremely difficult to let a point go when I feel as though there is a logical fallacy in play, or an un-wielding repudiation of new information or facts due to my ‘opponents’ prior indoctrination. I feel there are no authorities to facts and no hierarchy that should be respected in verbal discourse. So yes respect your elders but do not do yourself the disservice of accepting what they say without a challenge.

It is far more beneficial I feel to be humble and accept that you are always open to correction than to force your ill-fitting pieces of information into the puzzle of reality. Challenging yourself and what you believe can be liberating, not confusing and contradictory, as some would profess. I am quite sure that if you search you will find that intelligent people on the whole are full of questions and doubt and those further down the IQ scale full of certainty and answers. Furthermore you will often find that those people who are more certain about their beliefs are also more fanatical than those more questioning.

 

It is only with great hubris (I will hopefully read the stories of that words origin to you one day) that we believe that we are not susceptible to the same restrictions as everyone else. You will witness many charlatans in your time who will try to convince you that they have not only a cure for your dissatisfactions in life, but also a higher understanding of how the universe works and how their knowledge can improve your stay in it. Please never be afraid to ask “how do you know?”. Anyone with a firm grasp of a proposition should be able to explain clearly it without slipping into contradiction and reverting to the pointlessness of faith.

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”

– Albert Einstein

Faith when discussed around benign subjects such as whether there is an afterlife or not, is mostly harmless, albeit divisive in some circles. However the thought process that leads one to a positive conclusion troubles me.

An un-wielding belief that something is true without evidence, and the refusal to consider any other views is not only intellectually dishonest but it has been proven to slow down the progression of our specie. This ultimately has a negative effect on the wellbeing of the Earth and perpetuates – needlessly in my opinion – the potentially curable suffering of the sentient beings that dwell upon it. The difference between faith and belief is multifaceted. One can have belief without substantial evidence and still make credible points, but an argument from faith is un-falsifiable and as such yields no benefit in any meaningful exploration.

I get extremely frustrated when people blur the lines between belief and faith. It is all too common for people “of faith” (I have no idea why that phrase is used like it is some sort of accolade) to try to group anyone who has a belief in anything without solid facts as faithful. This just simply is not true. I have no direct proof that there is life on other planets (and I don’t think we will have proof in either of our life times) but I believe that there are other forms of life in our universe. This belief comes from the mathematical probability that if there are billions upon billions of stars, then there are billions and billions of opportunities for life such as our to be spawned over the 13.8 billion years that we believe the universe has existed. This couldn’t be any more different from me saying, “I know there is life out there”. Only someone of faith would assert such a ludicrous thing. You can’t possibly know, and you really have to question why they feel that way. What information would that individual be privy to that you are not, if there is no other information then what makes their belief of a fact the slightest bit credible or worth considering.

My darling it matters not what you think, but how you think.

With love.

Dad

папа

 

The best thing that could have happened to me.

I don’t think that I will ever really understand it.

 

Six months in to my girlfriend’s pregnancy and I can’t help but feel as though I am being less than human. Something in my head is missing or possibly something faulty is in its place and I can’t say help but think that there is some sort of crazy logic when people say, “it is the best thing that could have happened to me”.

 

I am talking about the generic response that people seem to have regardless of their situation when they reflect on the birth of their child. As things stand with me I CAN’T WAIT to see my baby. It feels like this six months is six years and every inch my other halves’ belly grows, another passage in my life has passed – whether it is the bump starting to show or the less than glamorous task of helping her put on her socks. Every stage is a poetic script that blends/invokes humorous and heart-warming emotions.

 

I guess up until now this seems like quite a logical progress from fornicator to father, and to be completely honest with you it feels both logical and natural. My position however isn’t exactly the average persons’ position, I have benefited from a steady income with the imminent potential to succeed further, and my partner is quite honestly the personification of a model employee working for a large investment bank. We both get on well and put up – without too much effort – with the little things that can annoy or frustrate someone who is not your own self. We both have loving families and friends that will fight each other just to spend some time with the impending arrival…what more could I want? Well if you had asked me six months ago I would have said TIME, HOLIDAYS, PARTIES and MONEY without even thinking about it. Is that what I want now? Well yes but not if it means that I wouldn’t have my little lady giving birth to my even littler lady.

 

The point of this note is that I can’t shake the thought that people without fail always say, in my experience, “it was the best thing that could happened to me”. Really? Was it the best thing at the best time? I honestly can’t believe that is the case for everyone. Yes it is a life-changing occurrence but to say “it was the best thing that could have happened to me,” sounds overly trite and disingenuous. I would be happy to say that “it was brilliant” or “it was life changing” but are you honestly telling me that you wouldn’t change any one thing if you were for a moment adorned with the ultimate power to change everything and anything in the world?

I guess I should pose the question to myself. Would I change anything? Well yes, I would have rather have waited another year so that the company that I just spent every penny of my life saving on was more established (or at least breaking even). Or maybe waited so that my girlfriend and I could have gone on more romantic singles holidays. Possibly I would have liked to meet her parents first to establish whether or not we could communicate without friction (it turns out we can but that is far from my point).  There were many things that I would have rather done before we decided to have a child, it certainly didn’t make me a bad person for saying it then, however it appears to be one of the worst things that I could possibly say at this stage. Surely there is nothing wrong with saying that things could be better or that you would have liked for things too have gone a little differently.

I am not suggesting that you should drop everything that you are doing, walk up to your twenty one year old son and tell him that things would have been better without him. But surely you can see that your situation could have been a little bit better had it played out another way. This is something that we are not afraid to say when a child is out of the picture but as soon as a child is part of the equation we refuse to believe that any outcome could have been better.

Given this logic surely the optimum life to lead is an eternally reproducing one with constant nine-month cycle of re-fertilisation (give or take a few weeks for recovery). We should be advocating our children to reproduce as soon as their bodies allow for them to do so, because it is “the best thing that could ever happen to them”.

 

There are clearly flaws in this socially influenced, reflex mind set, “the only known cure for poverty, is the empowerment of women and the emancipation of them from a livestock version of compulsory reproduction.” (Christopher Hitchens) That pretty much sums up my thoughts on the whole situation. If anyone was to disagree with me, argue that it is “the best thing that could ever happen to them” but suggest that my idea of perpetual reproduction was a step to far then I would have to suggest to them that they do not have absolute conviction in what they are saying.

Reductio ad absurdum seems to follow here with no way out of the spiraling paradox.

 

Maybe the perfect phrase that we can all agree on is “I can’t imagine myself being any happier and I can’t (don’t want to) picture my life without my child”.

 

 

Thank you to Bradley Howell for helping with my terrible English skills

Racists must go to jail. Or must they?

Controversial opinion…… But should it be?

The Blog of The Re-Enlightenment

Village IdiotsThere was a worrying criminal case last week about racism and free speech. I say “worrying not only because of the racist chanting by the individuals who have now been convicted, but more so because they were convicted of a crime at all and received pretty heavy sentences.

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